Mental Punishments

Elisa A. Escalante/ LCSW/ 12-27-2025

Mental disorders are finally getting some recognition and empathy, but there is still a long way to go with educating our general public. One topic that is rarely highlighted, is how our mental illnesses can bleed onto other people. People do not choose to have mental disorders, it’s an unfortunate reality that many people must live through. And with these disorders, we may not always be aware of how our symptoms can impair our relationships. This blog is to help divide that gap. People with mental health conditions must understand how their symptoms impact the people around them. People that are in relationships with those that have mental health conditions would benefit from education regarding the symptoms so they understand that it is not on purpose, and it is not usually personal.

Depression can be caused by various factors. This includes a chemical imbalance, such as lower amounts of serotonin, endorphins and oxytocin. Social environmental stressors could include: chronic boredom, neglect, abuse, grief and abandonment wounds. Depression also has specific cognitive distortions that can perpetuate it: rumination’s, compare and despair thoughts, and pessimistic thought patterns. And from a behavioral standpoint, those that are often sedentary and spend a lot of time indoors and on screens will have heavier depressive bouts. In their relationships, the depressed person will often be unable to access joy even during fun times where everyone else is happy. People with depression may even have a good time, but be unable to smile or verbalize it. Their affect will appear to be bored, sad, or irritable. Their loved ones might interpret this as a genuine disinterest or a lack of gratitude. Their loves ones will also have difficulty believing that the depressed person loves them, as they cannot always feel or express their love. But the truth is they lack the chemicals, healthy thought templates and capacity to access joy.

Anxiety conditions come with a lot of nagging thought patterns and debilitating physiological symptoms. Thought patterns include future predicting, catastrophizing, mind reading, ‘should and must’ obligatory thoughts, and over generalizations. Somatic symptoms include heart palpitations, labored breathing, muscle tension, shakiness, dizziness and/ or migraines. Behaviorally, people with anxiety may compulsively google their symptoms and research conditions which could exacerbate their worries even more. They are also more likely to question or interrogate their friends/ family or intimate partners because they need answers. They need reassurance, and if their brain does not get answers, it will jump to conclusions or obsessively hunt for them. Unfortunately this could scare away or irritate their loves ones and perpetuate what they already fear; losing people, or being burdensome because of their anxiety. Other notable subcategories of anxiety include; performance anxiety, health anxiety, and social anxiety. If they avoid taking risks due to their fears, this is known as ‘sabotage’.

PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) is both a mental and physiological disorder that is caused by life or death situations, or chronic high stress situations repeated over time. It is a body and mind that has adapted to constant danger. More trauma, more triggers. Any/ everything can be a trigger; people, places, conversations (words, tones, phrases, pitch) inanimate objects, situations, emotions, thoughts, body language, bodily sensations etc. When triggered, their primal brain goes into the fight, fly, freeze, fawn or dissociate responses, and the frontal lobe shuts down. This makes it next to impossible to de escalate a situation as the triggered individual cannot access their prefrontal cortex. People with PTSD are known to be ‘reactive’, angry or ‘dramatic’ according to their loves ones. It’s important to note that people do not choose their triggers. Life, traumas and grievances decide those triggers. The person with PTSD carries the burden of having to regulate their bodies/ minds every single time they are exposed to triggers. Some people describe ‘walking on eggshells’ around the traumatized person, as they are afraid of accidentally triggering them.

ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) is neurodevelopmental and causes specific parts of the brain to not fully ‘mature’ in growth. The prefrontal cortex, amygdala and hippocampus are all impacted which can alter our neurotransmitters; causing chemical imbalance. Two behavioral themes often appear. 1- The ADHD patient tends to be so over stimulated by their surroundings that they cannot focus on a single thing and get pulled in many directions at the same time. Or, they hyper focus on one task for a very long time, and everything else in their life ‘washes away’, causing them to forget important things/ obligations. Their loves ones often get aggravated at their inability to do chores/ tasks in a timely manner, as well as their difficulty with being on time to even important functions. The individual with ADHD is usually trying their best, and may get aggravated at those that keep on lecturing them about the same things. Constant lectures from loves ones could also impact their self esteem and put them at risk of socially withdrawing.

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) begins with the obsession in the mind that leads to tension in the body. Now, the body cannot relieve this tension or get rid of the obsession until they act out on a compulsion; a behavior. Once the compulsion is complete, only then do they feel a release. This pattern shows up quite often in home cleanliness, hygeine, safety rituals, and work projects. People with OCD are frequently described as ‘difficult to live with’, and ‘controlling’. They tend to desire that their loves ones do chores ‘in the exact same way they do’ and to the same cleanliness standard. If others do not follow suit, the obsession/ tension get’s aggravated again. They feel helpless when they do not have control and order around them. The unfortunate thing is they often take on the highest volume of work loads because they require it for their sanity. But also, some people recognize their impeccable work ethic and may even take advantage of it; this happens both at home and in work environments. They are at a higher risk of burnout due to this and they may also build resentment toward the people around them overtime.

Bipolar Disorder involves two very serious set’s of symptoms; depressive symptoms and mania. When depressed, they will have difficulty functioning, moving, or accessing joy. They may feel hopeless and have elevated guilt and suicidality. When they are manic, they may become grandiose, talkative, euphoric, hyper, compulsive and reckless. Genetics, brain neurology and social environment can all play a role. It is often hard for them to predict which mood state is going to take over. In turn, it can also be very hard for their loves ones to navigate the condition. There is emotional unpredictability, distrust, communication break downs and escalating arguments. Mood stabilizers can help, but many people that suffer with bipolar disorder have difficulty with medication management, as it has unwanted side effects such as ‘flattening/ numbing out their mood’, drowsiness, dry mouth and weight gain. It is another mental condition that no one deserves or asks to have, and to treat it requires unwanted side effects; a double edged sword condition. When manic, they may do things they regret that could also betray their partners; hyper sexual behaviors; infidelity, compulsive shopping; more debt, or substance abuse.