Sharing more of my Favorite Poems and discussing what inspired them!
By now most of my poetic work has been published in my 2nd book “In My Head, Mental health poems and quotes”, the link to the book will be shared at the bottom of this blog post.
This Poem was definitely about PTSD symptoms. About how our intrusive memories will keep coming back to us, disrupting our sleep and disrupting our daily lives. There’s also a heavy aspect of ‘victim blaming’ that comes along with suffering from such a chronic condition, which I also portray in the second part of the poem. And, if PTSD sufferers happen to get retraumatized, many people would assume we are doing it to ourselves on purpose. PTSD is a lifelong condition that does not go away. We can learn to manage it better, but the side effects will absolutely change our brain and our personality. It’s often known as a condition that prevents ‘normalcy’ in the public eye, which furthermore causes the sufferer to isolate. I started writing this in my head while I was literally on a roller coaster in Las Vegas at the NY, NY hotel. I was in a stage of my life where I felt like I was evolving. As I road the roller coaster I reminded myself that there was nothing to be afraid of, I already committed to this. And, I knew what already was ahead of me; a scary tall drop. What is the sense in closing my eyes out of fear if I already know what is going to happen anyways? I decided that this was how I wanted to approach my life; with less fear. Also the poem implies had I not gone on the roller coaster, I would regret it. Just like in life, if we avoid something out of fear, we often regret it later. I wrote this poem about War and school shootings mostly. When catastrophe happens I tend to block it out in the moment. Why? Because I have a pure hatred toward most humans in the immediate aftermath; the blame game. We don’t find solutions, we fight. We don’t work on prevention, we sweep it under the rug and pretend it won’t happen again. We don’t fix things, we just pretend we will with empty words. And then, the cycle repeats itself, over and over and over again. I’m essentially pointing out that all we do is run in circles. This was my best poem regarding how it feels to be subjected to a romantic relationship with a Narcissist. Where at times it feels like you are in the greatest high you have ever experienced, but how shortly after you could be brought down so low that you are living in terror and utter confusion. Confusion especially due to being gaslighted into believing ‘everything is your fault’; a narcissist is allergic to accountability. Narcissists work in very crafty ways to keep their victims hanging on with hope, while simultaneously destroying their self esteem. The end result is that the victim will be used, abused and thrown away. Inevitably, we will have rage because we tried our best and suffered through so MUCH, only to ‘come up short.’Through aging and more mental illness, things just tend to get harder. Ongoing trauma and daily symptoms cause most humans wear and tear. It get’s to a point where we understand the warnings of our elders before us; youth is special and we do not know how to treasure it until it’s already gone. We end up missing our innocence because it was a life where we were free of pain. As we age we try to cling to hope, and other’s try to help us restore hope, but sometimes we are a ‘lost cause’ because we have just suffered too many mental injuries. The innocent mind is gone for good.This poem represents the most unhealthy levels of Codependency that people can experience. Taking in a person that’s so toxic and becoming more and more sick because you insist on staying in something toxic. There are people that are so ill that they abuse others, and there are also people that are so ill that they cannot help but ‘welcome abuse’ into their lives unconsciously or subconsciously. It’s the reality of how we could need someone so much that it makes us sick, and getting rid of them will somehow feel like ‘a loss’, even if it’s really good for us. A traumatized toxic brain grew up with love and pain being ‘one in the same’ thing. This one I believe is self explanatory. It’s describing the culture of ‘toxic positivity’ that surrounds people that are hurting, mentally ill. The message is that we know how to ‘pretend to be positive’, but it does not mean it’s how we will ever feel inside. Sometimes raw honesty is better, even if ‘negative’, because at least it’s truthful. And a message of, if you don’t want to be around me during my times of pain, instead of the fake positive messages, you could just leave and go live off in rainbow land by yourself. Don’t try to put a Band aid on a Stab wound. I wrote this poem all the way back in High School and it’s one of the few that I did not feel a need to edit. It’s the message of ‘no matter how much humans may lose’, many of them keep hanging on until the end. Why? My High school brain decided that maybe it was simply ‘desire’. My desire keep’s me going, even on the boring or miserably hard days. I recognize that I write a lot of depressing stuff, so I wanted to end this blog with a poem that leaves off on a ‘positive note’ anyways.
For more poems and quotes, Order my second book! Link below: (Also follow my write page instagram: @Elisaquotes
Functionally Mental 
Beautifully written
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