Elisa A. Escalante/ LCSW/ 01-15-2025
“Growth/ maturity is getting older and realizing that everything you feared, and everything you judged, will happen to you. And the best qualities that you can have during your humility journey are grace and gratitude.” -EaE
There is no such thing as an endless supply of motivation. So, if you are wondering why you are not motivated to meal prep, workout more, read more, journal more, walk more, self care more, hustle more, there is no need to wonder; it’s called being a regular human. Humans have limitations. Where motivation ends, discipline takes over. If you don’t have the discipline for it, it could be because: a- The goal was extremely unrealistic and unnattainable, b- You actually do not care for the goal, you just set it because it is something you ‘oughta do’/ c- your life changed unexpectedly and subsequently, so did your priorities/ d- You forgot/ or e-you’re struggling with what are known as ‘mental stuckpoints’ that impede on your ability to accomplish the goal.
A: The goal was extremely unrealistic and unnattainable. An example of this could be someone that is going from ‘not working out at all, to trying to workout 5-7 days a week’. From no momentum to too much momentum; soreness and burnout. This can perpetuate overdoing/ underdoing cycles. This by default, will make it very hard to become consistent. The underdoing part of the cycle can also promote shame and lead to quitting. Good goals are boring goals. They won’t necessarily get your brain dopamine spiked up, but they will be practical enough to stay consistent. If you don’t workout, I would recommend starting with 1-2X a week and maybe work your way up from there. If you want to cut out sugar or carbs, I wouldn’t recommend cutting them out completely. Maybe start with one sugar/ carb snack that causes the urge to binge more. One small step at a time. Change is hard, and too often people try to make drastic changes in short periods of time. ‘Crash diets’ and ‘crash workout plans’ crash for a reason.
B: You actually do not care for the goal, you just set it because it is something you ‘oughta do’. Do you actually want this goal? Why? What is the purpose and why does it matter to you? Go back to your why. Refocus. Explore your intentions. If you really do not care for the goal, why did you set it in the first place? Societal pressure? Peer or family pressure? Is it because ‘New years told you to do so’? (Cultural/ traditional pressure) If you establish that you do not care for the goal, would you be willing to set a different goal? One that actually pulls at your curiosity and gives you an inkling of passion?
C: Your life changed unexpectedly and subsequently, so did your priorities. This just makes sense. It happens. I’m sure some of the fire victims in L.A. had resolutions, but now, their lives are drastically altered and they have been forced into survival mode. And there are many people around the country and the world that are going through natural disasters, job loss, financial crisis, domestic violence, losing people & dealing with grief etc. When life throws a crisis at you, plans must change. Now your basic needs for survival are the priority and a self development goal is a luxury reserved for those that are still in stable/ good standing. I’m sorry for your troubles and I hope you have a positive/ strong support system to help you through these times.
D- You forgot. It happens, maybe you are often forgetful. Or maybe you are very busy right now. Maybe you are on autopilot because of a very busy lifestyle, so you really just forgot. What’s the barrier(s) to the goal? Why are you forgetting? What is distracting you? Netflix? Social media? Family? Friends? Is working taking up most of your life? If it’s not an external thing, is it a mental or emotional distraction?
E- You’re struggling with what are known as ‘mental stuckpoints’ that impede on your ability to accomplish the goal. Yes, our brain can actually stop our body from taking action. Our brain can prevent our body from moving. I often tell my patients that “The mind can force the body, but the body cannot force the mind.” Meaning, we can push ourselves with mental fortitude. An athlete can use their mind to push themselves past exhaustion. A college student can deprive themselves of sleep to cram for a test even if they’re tired. A person can accomplish a work task that they have never done before. Maybe it’s scary and makes them anxious, but they can harness courage and intelligence to learn and get it done. However, if our mind does not want to, it cannot make our body do anything. If your mind does not want to get up, your body won’t move. If your mind does not want to learn a new instrument, your body cannot make it. To go more in depth on how mental illness can perpetuate stuckpoints, I’ll expand a bit.
E1: Anxiety forces people into an unpredictable future, it can stop a person in their tracks. It can start with anxious thinking. “What if I try to accomplish this goal but I fail?” “What if it’s dangerous and I get hurt?” “What if people judge me while I try?” These are thoughts that could perpetuate fear to a point that a person decides ‘it is not worth the risk’ all together. It can lead to procrastination, or giving up entirely. Then there are the physiological s/x of anxiety which include labored breathing, muscle tension, chest palpitations, headaches, shakiness. The mental impacts the physical, the physical turns right back around and impacts the mental more. The only way to build the confidence to counteract the anxiety is to set mini goals and accomplish them; proving to yourself that you do have the capacity to set a goal and see it through while staying safe. I had a client that was so agoraphobic that going outside felt impossible. She started by going to check the mail. Then by going down the block. Then one day going around the block etc.
E2: Depression robs people of the ability to engage in positive thinking or even feel a sense of hope and purpose. If the mentality becomes ‘what’s the point?’, or “I don’t even care”, then it would be very hard to feel motivated to accomplish any task. If basic daily tasks become exhausting, then self improvement will feel impossible. I usually call my walks ‘zombie walks’. Where I would force myself to put my shoes on and force myself out the door to walk. Since my depression impaired my psychomotors, I looked like a zombie trying to wobble my way toward a food source. Depression/ low motivation requires the ‘elimination of as many barriers as possible’. Putting on shoes and tying them feels too hard? I have slip on sneaker shoes (Barefoot is one of my favorites to recommend). Putting on a sports bra is hard and exhausting? I have ultra stretchy sports bralettes. (Aerie) You cannot fathom doing an intense workout while exhausted? Try mild to moderate. Warm up into it and see what you can do.
E3: PTSD robs people of the present moment. The body and mind are so heavily triggered and focused on survival that ‘nothing else can matter’ besides surviving. Safety first. Are you in a safe environment that affords you the luxury to accomplish your goals? Can you maintain focus or are you triggered which results in your brain/ body getting hijacked with adrenaline, cortisol and racing intrusive thoughts? Are you surrounded by safe people that encourage you to go after your goals and rarely interfere? Are you able to prioritize your health/ self care? Are you able to acknowledge your limitations and work around them? And though it is hard to maintain fitness and/ or hobbies when you have PTSD, I would also say that because you have PTSD, it means you need to do it more. Your mind needs a break and a distraction from ‘being in your head 24/7’ with traumatic memories.
E4: ADHD disrupts focus as well as the ability to complete tasks. Now that I have been working with ADHD more in primary care, I’ve learned something very important. If someone has ADHD, it ought to be addressed and/ or medicated first. If the ADHD does not get managed, it’s next to impossible for the patient to work on any interventions and/ or any other mental health concerns they may have. Many people with ADHD go through bouts of hyperfocusing on one thing and forgetting about/ neglecting everything else. Or, the inability to focus at all, which causes them to run around only accomplishing 1/4 – 1/2 of each goal. But, they are then unable to complete anything all the way through. The same thing might come up for a New years goal! Like all other mental health conditions, if this has become debilitating, seek professional help in the New Year!
Let’s make this a great 2025!
Functionally Mental 