Elisa A. Escalante/ LCSW/ 4-10-2022
After I published mental health experts, I immediately knew that I would need to do a part two. I had a great reviews, and also my blog could be centered around this alone. Because the Internet is throwing out horrible mental health advice at a pace that cannot be controlled. I have no problem debunking some of this horrible mental health advice, especially when it induces shame in those that are suffering on a regular basis. Because mental health is an invisible wound, people that suffer from it are extra vulnerable to being invalidated, critiqued and steered in the wrong direction. So let’s do better, let’s keep striving to get it right.
Though this writer may have had good intentions, she’s neglecting three very important things. 1- depression rumination, 2- trauma triggers. 3- The art of referencing our past to learn, and hopefully, not repeat mistakes. “The past is gone” is a fact many like to bring up. It’s truth, but memory is cemented (in most cases) forever. Memory serves vital functions. Memory could also hinder our mental health. Knowing our “past is gone” won’t erase our memory. Period.
Unpopular fact: SOME of our problems are caused by a lack of self discipline. And some of our problems are caused by being born in horrendous households we had absolutely no say in. Some of our problems are caused by faulty genetics that we did not ask for. Some of our problems are caused by evil predators that are set on ruining our lives. Some of our problems are caused by our government and society. Individual accountability is important, but it’s just a portion of the pie.
To me, this seems like a cop out for someone that’s afraid to actually be a listener when someone is in distress. And how can we possibly know someone will grow into “the person they were meant to be?” As a therapist, I would never feel comfortable selling someone this lie. This goes under the umbrella of toxic positivity.
Sorry Honest Abe (if he in fact wrote this one) but this wasn’t too truthful or honest at all. If happiness was a decision, I would imagine that close to 100 percent of people in this world would be happy. Happy feels pretty good, while sadness, anxiety, stress and anger suck! I would be out of the job if people could simply choose happiness and then the dopamine just rushes into their brain on command. IF ONLY. I believe people fear unhappy people, because they know how fragile their happy state is, and they fear that the other persons depression will contaminate them.
Becoming a victim of any type of trauma: rape, natural disaster, domestic violence, work centered violence, child abuse etc was not a decision anyone intentionally made. Its pretty emotionally immature to call it “playing victim” in reference to anyone that was traumatized and faced with the fragile process of healing. And yes, we do have to heal. That healing process looks like a roller coaster of emotions, and these emotions get judged, everyday. Especially by those who know nothing about real hardship.
Life isn’t life without stress. Stress is guarantee, stress can’t be avoided. “No reason to be stressed?!” I can’t think of a single human developmental milestone that we go through without stress! 🧐 And as we accomplish our feats and/ or deal with our traumas and grievances, it’s incredibly helpful to have role models and mentors that talk to us about this stress and difficult growing pains. Validate! Don’t deny reality!
Insomnia/ Narcolepsy/ Hypersomnia/ Panic disorders/ Depression/ PTSD/ PCOS/ Hypothyroidism/ congestive Heart Failure/ Type 1 Diabetes/ Increased costs of living/ Employee wages barely rising/ multigenerational poverty/ Family Caregiving responsibilities. This is a list of a bunch of medical, mental and environmental conditions this writer ignored in this post. Conditions that make “simple” things, not so simple. Mental & medical conditions as well as poor economic climate aren’t excuses, they’re reasons. They cause limitations. We have to work hard to create a whole new lifestyle so that the sufferer can learn to function properly once again.
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Published by functionallymentall
Social Worker, Writer, USAF Veteran
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2 thoughts on “Mental Health Internet “Experts” Part 2”
No you can not erase a tragic memory of abuse. I am 60 years old and a certain smell will trigger a very abusive memory. I read a lot of these on Facebook and simply have to laugh at most of them. If some of these writers actually experienced a life changing trauma or abuse I believe they wouldn’t be writing such unacceptable nonsense. Thank you for pointing out these ill written quotes.
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So if whiskey makes me happy that’s healthy? Not. Settling to be a victim is one I’ve been told…without once asking why. So until Army friend a few months ago buried it…he wasn’t negative about it and helped.
So many experts don’t seem to grasp So much.
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